Hey yaw…heyyyy!! It’s been 3 weeks since I’ve updated you guys! *hangs head in shame* I have a whole 9 month old! He’s crawling, walking with assistance and…has one tooth now!😊 At this point I basically feel like he’ll be 12 tomorrow.🤣🤣 Dramatic, I know! If you’re a parent you understand.
Aside from the things mentioned above, I’m still breastfeeding, still! Can you believe it?!? I’m proud and shocked. Lol! I didn’t think I’d make it this long and here we are!! I’m basically a pro, you hear me?! 😂😂
In other news…moms are legit SUPERHEROES! Let me tell you how I know! Last week I grocery shopped with a 24 pound, 9 month old SLEEPING baby in my arms.😱 This wasn’t a “grab 2 things and run out the store shop” at all. I walked around grabbing a bunch of stuff with him in my arm. It went numb. Lolol!! But I made it! 🥳
Then I realized all moms are incredibly powerful and dope! I don’t care what you’ve done or haven’t done…you are everything! No matter where you are in life, you have what it takes to succeed, exceed, live, thrive and dream! The inner strength we possess is like none other! 💪🏼 Don’t let anyone, including yourself, tell you otherwise!
I love us for real.🤣🤣😍😍
Until the next time….
My little guy traveled with dad and I to Florida last week as we celebrated our 3rd anniversary.☺️ He’s SO much more active than he was in Myrtle Beach back in June. O. M. G! He wore momma out!🤣🤣
AJ will be 8 months in 2 days. I’m so excited and slightly hit with baby fever.😳 I miss his new baby smell and laying on my chest. These days I’m more like a human jungle gym.😩 He’s such a strong and active baby. I’m blessed to have such a healthy little guy but honey…sometimes these blessings are weighty!😂😂 The responsibility becomes much some days!
As you can imagine he’s into every single thing he can find! His little mind is expanding. He’s busy exploring and it’s taking a toll on me!😩 I love my little guy so much though.🥰 I’m waiting for him to start leaving me for daddy (he’s the fun one lol)! And I know AJ’s exploration will not tolerate mommy’s fear and hesitation! He’s definitely going to choose dad!
I’m slowly learning to be okay with it! Lol!! I’ve finally come to understand my limits and my son will be fine without me for a bit. It’s harder to stick to that conviction lately as AJ’s experiencing sleep regression. So he’s much more clingy…but I know it’s temporary. I’m actually beginning to look forward to him spending time with others. I’m equally terrified but excited nonetheless!🤣🤣
I’m still so grateful to be his mom. We are learning and growing daily! I’m also thrilled to have such a supportive and loving husband. Neither of them look excited in this picture but, they are. I love my serious guys!🤣❤️
Until the next time….
My son is already practicing driving!🤣🤣 At 7 1/2 months this has to be some record! Call Guiness World Book!! Lol!!
Seriously, isn’t this the cutest thing???☺️ AJ continuously grows by leaps and bounds! My poor little heart can’t take it. To think this time last year I was 4 months pregnant and now I have a nearly 8 month old baby is astounding!
I honestly can not count the ways motherhood’s changed my life. Literally nothing’s the same.😳 One year ago I was planning maternity leave (wanted to be well prepared); who would’ve guessed I’d be a stay at home mom?!?! It’s amazing how babies alter your life. You learn your best and worst attributes as a mother. Almost like marriage except the other person is the cutest little, helpless thing!🥰🥰
I spent so much time trying to convince myself I’d be nothing like my bio mom or grandma (she raised me) but here I am…sensitive as Deborah Ann and stern as Shirley Jean! God rest both their beautiful souls!💙💙 The hardest part about becoming a mom for me was wishing I still had my mother to experience this with and learning that I’d lose my grandmother shortly after AJ’s arrival.😫😫
I went through SO many “what if” scenarios! I grieved my son would not know the women who created and reared his mother.😥😥 I wanted him to know his roots, interact with and love this as much as I had. I literally cried many days thinking of the nonexistent bond between my unborn son and his great and grandmother. It tore me up.
Then one day I realized, he would indeed bond with those ladies because I am them and they are me. My tender way of dealing with his emotions and needs is Deborah. My firm hand and soft heart is Shirley. The integrity I will reach him and resolve come from them. My laugh roars as loud and hearty as his great grandmother. My curious mind is as open as his grandma.💖💖
In me, he has them. I plan to do my best to show him that. And I am excited share his heritage with him. ☺️☺️ My heart is expectant and encouraged.
Until the next time…
My big boy!!😊 With every passing day I feel more excitement and anguish, simultaneously! My son is growing, evolving, blossoming and changing; as he should. However, I can’t help but feel proud and nervous. 😬 I’m so happy AJ’s progressing as he should, even advancing in some areas. I’m also equally in angst!😩 The totally helpless newborn child I brought home 7 months ago is now becoming increasingly independent. Of course he still needs me, it’s just interesting to watch him pull away.
Who knew I’d feel so much conflict in my heart over these things? I remember the first night we spent in our home. All I could do was cry and wonder why I even left the hospital! (I left a day early)!🤣🤣🤣 I didn’t know what to do with my son other than breastfeed and change him. It was awesomely gruesome and amazing.
Speaking of breastfeeding, I’m currently at pro status.😆😆 It’s almost become second nature. I could not imagine ever reaching this point. I’m so grateful and would actually love to assist new moms in the process, it’s SO fulfilling! Women are incredibly resilient! Our bodies are meticulous machines, sort of, lol!! I’m so proud of us all! And in complete awe!!❤️❤️ We. Rock!!
My son is still an absolute blessing! Even during frustrating moments! His growing independence can be a pain point for us both! I can no longer sit him in a corner and let him be! He wants to get into everything! I wish I could let him sometimes! Lol! It breaks my heart I can’t let him be free! But my heart smiles at the idea of his development! I’m SO torn!😩😩🤣🤣🙃🙃
In conclusion…my life has changed for the best, in every sense….even when I don’t see or feel it…I know it’s true! Austin Josiah has made us all better!💙💙
Until the next time…
Tomorrow, I’ll have a 7 month old little boy.😊He’s somewhere between size 4 and 5 diapers and size 9 and 12 month clothes. Oh, he can’t wear most shoes because his feet are SO chunky 😂😂 Currently, he seems to go to bed one size and wake up another.😳
Since I’ve become a SAHM (you all know what that is by now, lol) his growth spurts scare me. Everything breaks down to a dollar amount. I’m almost tempted to throw a “my baby’s growing too fast” shower!🙃 It’s 2019, we’re done with tradition right?!?! I should just be a trendsetter! Lol!! Maybe I’ll work up the nerve to actually do it. Who knows?!?!
Aside from his physical growth, my AJ’s personality is blossoming. His sense of humor tickles me. He has his dad’s laugh and my goofy behavior when he gets sleepy.🤣🤣 Every. Single. Thing is funny to me when I’m tired, he’s the same way.😊 He has his dad’s patience and my frustration when I can’t figure something out. He has my precocious ways and his dad’s curiosity. He seriously the perfect combination of us, even his looks.💙💙
Having a baby at 35 has been the epitome of life changing. I don’t believe I would’ve left my job if I didn’t become a mom. I’m learning SO much about myself as a person in general. I see my strengths: an amazing caretaker, loving mother, detail oriented, determined and wise. However I also see the areas I could use development: patience, control (I try so hard to control everything, it’s awful), trust in God and others to take care of my son and negative thinking. That one, terrible!! 😓 It’s so exhausting. I think the worst, every time. I’m sure I need to talk to someone about this. It can’t be healthy.😣
All in all, becoming a parent has made me brave and intentional about being whole. Emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally. I want to be my best self. I don’t ever want my son sitting in therapy because of Mommy wounds.😳 I know what that’s like. And I’m determined to give him the best foundation possible. I know I’m human. I know I’ll make mistakes. I also know, he doesn’t have to suffer at my hands. It starts with me becoming well. Stay tuned….
It’s almost been 7 months since I became a mom.😊 Of course, my life has changed dramatically. My son means the world to me.
Now that he’s getting older, I’m enjoying motherhood much more than I had previously.😳 Those first 3 months almost 👏🏼took 👏🏼me 👏🏼out!! Adjusting to it all was so hard! I actually had mild postpartum depression (although it felt like the end of the world, mild where?!?). Plus I had a winter baby. Being stuck in the house while feeling as though you’re losing your mind?!?! Terrible!!😢 I loved my son with everything in me but the PPD overshadowed that daily. *side note* if your are dealing with any ill feelings, dark thoughts are just feeling off…contact your OB ASAP!! There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We go through SO much carrying and delivering our babies. Something’s bound to be different once they arrive and it’s OKAY!!😉
My favorite part of the day with AJ (currently) is the morning. He wakes up with SO many smiles! He looks so excited to see us! Then he gives morning kisses!❤️❤️ I melt, every single day. I love watching his curiosity blossom. He’s so encouraging to my heart. He has no clue he’s teaching his mom to dream again. He’s blessing me, literally. He’s also my new shopping buddy (as pictured above)!😂😂
I’m pretty sure he’s going to skip crawling and go straight to walking, lol! He doesn’t scoot or get on all fours, he pulls up on anything around him and stands! 🤣 He’s also enjoys feeding himself these days. It’s pretty neat to watch!
I have so much I could say but I’ll wait! I plan to chronicle the first year! We have 25 weeks left! I’ll also get the first 6 months posted here so you can follow along! It might be out of order since I did Facebook first but you’ll get it! Lol!
Until the next time…..
#NotetoSelf #NotetoUs #NewMommyChronicles #AustinJosiah