Posted in #NotetoSelf, #NotetoUs, Healing, Healthy Mom, Infant Mom, Motherhood, New Mommy, SAHM, Stay at home mom

New Mommy…Week 30

Tomorrow, I’ll have a 7 month old little boy.😊He’s somewhere between size 4 and 5 diapers and size 9 and 12 month clothes. Oh, he can’t wear most shoes because his feet are SO chunky πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Currently, he seems to go to bed one size and wake up another.😳

Since I’ve become a SAHM (you all know what that is by now, lol) his growth spurts scare me. Everything breaks down to a dollar amount. I’m almost tempted to throw a “my baby’s growing too fast” shower!πŸ™ƒ It’s 2019, we’re done with tradition right?!?! I should just be a trendsetter! Lol!! Maybe I’ll work up the nerve to actually do it. Who knows?!?!

Aside from his physical growth, my AJ’s personality is blossoming. His sense of humor tickles me. He has his dad’s laugh and my goofy behavior when he gets sleepy.🀣🀣 Every. Single. Thing is funny to me when I’m tired, he’s the same way.😊 He has his dad’s patience and my frustration when I can’t figure something out. He has my precocious ways and his dad’s curiosity. He seriously the perfect combination of us, even his looks.πŸ’™πŸ’™

Having a baby at 35 has been the epitome of life changing. I don’t believe I would’ve left my job if I didn’t become a mom. I’m learning SO much about myself as a person in general. I see my strengths: an amazing caretaker, loving mother, detail oriented, determined and wise. However I also see the areas I could use development: patience, control (I try so hard to control everything, it’s awful), trust in God and others to take care of my son and negative thinking. That one, terrible!! πŸ˜“ It’s so exhausting. I think the worst, every time. I’m sure I need to talk to someone about this. It can’t be healthy.😣

All in all, becoming a parent has made me brave and intentional about being whole. Emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally. I want to be my best self. I don’t ever want my son sitting in therapy because of Mommy wounds.😳 I know what that’s like. And I’m determined to give him the best foundation possible. I know I’m human. I know I’ll make mistakes. I also know, he doesn’t have to suffer at my hands. It starts with me becoming well. Stay tuned….

#NotetoSelf #NotetoUs

Posted in #NotetoSelf, #NotetoUs, Infant Mom, Mompreneur, Motherhood, New Mommy, SAHM, Stay at home mom

New Mommy…Week 29

I get to wake up to this precious boy every morning.AJ is such. a. blessing. I am so honored to call him son. Being his mother is a privilege.❀️ He has no idea how many people prayed for his conception, gestation and delivery. His life has changed ours, greatly.πŸ’™

If you don’t know, I quit my job 2 months ago for a few reasons but he played a major role. As a 35 year old, first time mom I have zero interest in sending my son to daycare to work in a thankless job and poor environment.πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ I’d been feeling like leaving for 3 years, just couldn’t rationalize walking away from a “good” job. Until my son gave me the courage to make a decision and go after my dreams.😊

Between my love for him, my desire to be whole and my husband’s encouragement; I left a Human Resources job. One in which I did well. But I knew I wanted more. Now I am a stay at home mom, wife and budding entrepreneur.πŸ˜‰ This is the scariest most fulfilling thing I’ve ever felt. It’s a dichotomy for sure. But I’m determined to do it.

I look forward to the day I tell my beautiful son how much his existence inspired Mommy. I want him to be proud of me, for sure. What I desire most is my life be an example of chasing your dreams, betting on yourself and trusting God. I want him to know he can do it.😍

I also want to show myself I can do it! I’m trailblazing in my family. It’s rough, scary, confusing and such. But baby when I tell you I’m more free than I’ve ever been….you’ll just have to follow along to watch it all unfold.😌

Until the next time…..

Posted in #NotetoSelf, #NotetoUs, Infant Mom, Mompreneur, Motherhood, New Mommy, SAHM, Stay at home mom

New Mommy….Week 28

Who knew a onesie could make you cry?!?!

I finally cleaned out AJ’s closer. He’ll be 7 months in 2 weeks….so I had to get rid of all his newborn-3 month clothes.πŸ™ƒ Then I picked up this onesie. I cried. I can’t believe my baby was that small at one point. Although he wasn’t a “small” baby. I had him at 38 weeks, he was 8 pounds, 13 ounces. 😳 I got so emotional thinking about his short time here.

And it’s worst because he had his first fall off my bed this week. Just thinking about his milestones have me in my feelings.😒 Last night he crawled backwards. He’s staring to form his mouth to say the dreaded “Da Da”.🀣🀣 He’s drinking from a cup. He’s holding food in his hand. My baby is no longer my helpless newborn.😊

I miss those days. Although I suffered postpartum depression; I miss the early days. They were hard but rewarding. We made it!❀️

Now, πŸ—£I’m still breastfeeding! It’s no longer hard or awkward; other than his sudden infatuation with pinching my nips.πŸ˜³πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I’m so proud of us. I didn’t have a lot of breastfeeding knowledge. I wanted to quit early on. But I’m so glad I didn’t! Even now, some people are encouraging me to get him off the boob; I curve all those comments. My baby will self wean. I’ll put no demands on him. Not with this.😌

I’ve also been a SAHM (stay at home mom) for 7 weeks now. It’s still scary and I still love it. Shortly, once I focus and pull things in: I’ll be a mompreneur. So excited!😍 You’ll year more soon!

Until the next time….

#NotetoSelf #NotetoUs #NewMommyChronicles

Posted in #NotetoSelf

New Mommy….Week 27

It’s almost been 7 months since I became a mom.😊 Of course, my life has changed dramatically. My son means the world to me.

Now that he’s getting older, I’m enjoying motherhood much more than I had previously.😳 Those first 3 months almost πŸ‘πŸΌtook πŸ‘πŸΌme πŸ‘πŸΌout!! Adjusting to it all was so hard! I actually had mild postpartum depression (although it felt like the end of the world, mild where?!?). Plus I had a winter baby. Being stuck in the house while feeling as though you’re losing your mind?!?! Terrible!!😒 I loved my son with everything in me but the PPD overshadowed that daily. *side note* if your are dealing with any ill feelings, dark thoughts are just feeling off…contact your OB ASAP!! There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We go through SO much carrying and delivering our babies. Something’s bound to be different once they arrive and it’s OKAY!!πŸ˜‰

My favorite part of the day with AJ (currently) is the morning. He wakes up with SO many smiles! He looks so excited to see us! Then he gives morning kisses!❀️❀️ I melt, every single day. I love watching his curiosity blossom. He’s so encouraging to my heart. He has no clue he’s teaching his mom to dream again. He’s blessing me, literally. He’s also my new shopping buddy (as pictured above)!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I’m pretty sure he’s going to skip crawling and go straight to walking, lol! He doesn’t scoot or get on all fours, he pulls up on anything around him and stands! 🀣 He’s also enjoys feeding himself these days. It’s pretty neat to watch!

I have so much I could say but I’ll wait! I plan to chronicle the first year! We have 25 weeks left! I’ll also get the first 6 months posted here so you can follow along! It might be out of order since I did Facebook first but you’ll get it! Lol!

Until the next time…..

#NotetoSelf #NotetoUs #NewMommyChronicles #AustinJosiah

Posted in #NotetoSelf, #NotetoUs, Motherhood, Uncategorized

🚨New Mommy…Week 26

My baby turned 6 months this week!!😊😊

I’m so excited and terrified at the same time! Watching him gain independence causes me to smile and be proud while simultaneously fast forwarding to the days he won’t need me as much.😒 Such oxymoronic feelings!! I’m sure moms understand!

AJ is full of life! He tries everything repeatedly, only allowing frustration to set in for seconds.😒 It’s so encouraging, oh to be a child again! I pray I never do anything to inhibit his imagination, deter his determination or discourage his effort.❀️ He reminds me everyday to keep dreaming! Keep trying! He has no idea how he motivates me.

6 months postpartum feels….better.πŸ™ƒ I am certainly in a much more calm state of mind than previously. I cry much less. When I do, the tears are typically of pride and gratefulness. I never knew my heart could be so full. My journey yo motherhood was long, hard and heartbreaking. But it was all worth it.😍

Now, the hard part about 6 months postpartum?!?! My body!!😫😫😫 Initially I made amazing progress. Lately, I’ve hit a roadblock! I don’t like my body. I can’t figure out my “mom style”😳 I’m no longer comfortable wearing certain things. It’s odd. I’ll get through it, I’m sure!πŸ’™

I’m also dealing with becoming a stay at home mom. It’s truly and adjustment. Whew! I’ll talk about it more next time! Don’t wanna bore you! πŸ˜‰πŸ€£πŸ€£

Until the next time…

#NotetoSelf #NotetoUs #NewMommyChronicles

Posted in Uncategorized

Week One: New Mommy

AJ is one week old today!☺️ I’ve officially been a mommy for 7 days. In true fashion of myself…lemme tell y’all about it!πŸ˜‚

First of all…I am TIED (that’s tired for my proper readers)πŸ˜‚

I had him via c-section and that experience is traumatic ok? I don’t care what anyone else says. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

I have to care for him 24-7…..whew….take me back to my babysitting days. It was SO temporary. Lol!πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Don’t even get me started on breastfeeding!!!😀😀

I am the most emotionally exhausted I’ve been in my entire life. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈWho knew you could cry so many tears in a single 24 hour period?!?! 😱 AND, so many different tears?? One minute they are happy, then proud, then amazed, then tired, then feeling like β€œwhat have I signed up for”, then β€œI love my husband so much”, then β€œI love my son so much” then God knows what! I literally feel insane! 😫😫

My husband has been a trooper.😊 I honestly have a new found respect and wonder for single moms. How do y’all do it? How? Y’all so strong! I’ve cried in my husband’s arms so much you’d think I’m the newborn!πŸ˜€ Y’all really are amazing!!

My pediatrician started our conversation reading my fertility and child loss history then preceded to state β€œWow, you went through a lot to get him here. Thank God he is here”! 😭😭When I tell y’all I almost went into a baptist fit!!!πŸ’ƒπŸ»πŸ’ƒπŸ» (ask your churchy friends what that is, lol!) He just didnt know what he said to me! LOL!

Overall, motherhood is NO punk.πŸ™…πŸ»β€β™€οΈ She’s actually a bully in my opinion! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ But I am so thrilled to have my son even when I’m overwhelmed (which is quite often at this point, lol!)

I honestly did not realize how strong women truly are until this phase of my life. We are EVERYTHING! πŸ’ͺπŸΌπŸ’πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ’…πŸΌ

Until the next time..

#NewMommyChronicles

Posted in #NotetoSelf, #NotetoUs, Healing, Love and Marriage, Uncategorized, Who am I??

It Happened…..

Prior to marriage I firmly believed I’d be the woman who’d balance her career, hobbies, ministries, relationships, businesses, marriage and self love. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

There was absolutely no doubt in my mind I’d find the formula and execute well. Even when I gained 70 pounds (like literally a 10 year old attached themselves to my body) BEFORE marriage, I already had a plan to get the weight off and keep my pre-marital sexy going. πŸ™„ I had all the plans, encouraging sayings, and great intentions, then….

IT HAPPENED!!!

One day, I had no idea what I liked. I couldn’t figure out what I should wear. I wasn’t sure how I felt about my makeup. I couldn’t think of things to do without my husband. I hadn’t visited family or friends (without my husband) or gone shopping for myself. I had become everything I dreaded! I WAS ALL ABOUT MY HUSBAND and nothing else!πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ How could this happen to me? Where had Alishia gone? Who snatched my body? And most importantly, WHY????πŸ€”

I had this all figured out. I would not become the wife who had no life outside her husband or forgot what my life was like prior to marriage! I could not believe this! Then it dawned on me, I’d stop being intentional about ME! Mostly, women are predisposed to caring for everyone BUT themselves. We’ve also been societally exposed to the myth that becoming someone’s wife is the ultimate goal. 😏 Some where, someone dropped the ball with this! Lol! Somehow self care became taboo and selfish (which essentially describes self-care but I’ll stay focused for now 😜). How could anyone lead us to believe we are only considerate of ourselves when we decide to take a break from wife and mom duties, work, chores and thinking of everyone else?? How?

I drove myself nuts trying to come up with a reason for this but you know what? I’m DONE seeking it out! 🀫 My energy can be spent PRACTICING self care instead of trying to figure out how or why it’s wrong to some people, lol! I have a right to “turn off”. Even God restedπŸ™ŒπŸΌ! The almighty, all powerful God of the entire universe took a moment to sit back and enjoy the work of his hands! He admired what he created. He SAT DOWN! If he did, WHY WON’T WE?!?

After 19 months of marriage and bonus child (that’s what I call my stepson now, lol) rearing, I’ve realized I’ve placed this pressure to be everything πŸ‘πŸΌon πŸ‘πŸΌmy πŸ‘πŸΌself! And it’s senseless. I deserve a day off or new jeans that make my buns look amazing, lol! In fact, I SHOULD model God and RELAX sometimes. My husband does not even expect all these absurd things from me nor does my stepson. I told myslef to go above and beyond for no good reason, lol!

It’s okay to desire being a good wife, mom, friend, and loved one. Really, it is. The problem arises when we aspire to be super-wife/mom/friend/employee/boss/entrepeneur/etc…. There really is a season for everything, including REST. We tend to think of seasons as summer, fall, winter and spring, which is true in that aspect. However, seasons can switch more frequently than that. Especially when it comes to self care. And that is ok! Take some time to yourself. Even if it’s on the ride home. Don’t take the call! Decompress! Just say no! Lol! Then your…it happened moment will be you taking care of yourself for a change, lol!

You can be anything you want, just not everything at the same time. And that’s perfectly ok!

Until the next time…..

#notetoself #notetous #selfcare #superwomanisamyth