I’ve learned the true meaning of intimacy. It is NOT sex, lol! Sex is an event that occurs during an environment of intimacy, at least in marriage. Intimacy is true oneness of body, heart/mind and soul. And it’s built over time. The “jack rabbit ” phase is cool; what do you have after the “thrill” is gone?
I received so much flack about this Facebook post, lol! I even had people asking was my marriage okay. I can’t be mad at that, I put it out there. However I want to ensure people understand. Sex is a very important part of marriage but it isn’t everything. Be sure you have something outside of sex holding you together. Our bodies are funny. There are times when you simply cannot perform. What do you have to fall back on? Just think about it.
In 60 days we’ve seen the best and worst of each other. We’ve explored depths of our personalities that we weren’t aware of. We’re learning to co-habitat. We’re learning our strengths and weaknesses. We’re simply doing life together and I couldn’t imagine taking this journey with anyone else. I know this time is a drop in the bucket to those who have been married for some time now. But every single day we stay committed we’re breaking generational curses, walking in covenant and exemplifying God’s love…we’ll celebrate that!!! #HappilyEverMcLin#DispeltheMyth#FirstYearStories#60daysin#4EvertoGo😘😘😍😍🎊🎊🎉🎉👏🏼👏🏼❤️❤️😬😬
Yesterday I learned some things about my husband’s childhood that I never knew. I mentioned that to remind ourselves that life is all about discovery and marriage is no different. Personally, I share everything. If you are my friend or even a close associate at some point you’ve heard deep things about my life because I fully believe in the power of transparency and I talk a lot (if you all hadn’t noticed), lol! My husband is a little reticent in that area, and it’s okay! If you’re the “sharer” in the relationship be open to “breaking news” about your spouse. The discovery process takes a little longer for reserved people and try not to take it as though they’re hiding something from you. If you’re the “quiet” one be open to the needs of your spouse to share, EVERYTHING! Lol! We all process differently and we absolutely have to be patient with one another as we do life together but different. There’s beauty in differences, if we allow ourselves to see it! #HappilyEverMcLin#JourneytoForver#FirstYearStories#DispelTheMyth#TheProcess
1. I love family time (always have but it’s different now) 👪
2. I never fully understood the babysitter struggle, lol!!💁🏻
Marrying someone with a child/ren completely changes things. You instantly become a parent (ready or not 😳) and your life embodies that responsibility. I have to say, it’s a challenge at times. 🤔 I don’t have biological children so my “get up and go” game is about 17 years strong, lmbo!! 💃🏻Tonight we couldn’t hangout with my friends because we didn’t plan and call a sitter ahead (sorry yaw, really love you though 🙍🏻😘). I’ll miss them but this shows just how much life has changed. Before marriage and parenting 🙇🏻♀️ you could call me anytime for anything. This is a huge adjustment but I said I will. The sacrifices are real, lol!
My husband has proven his ability to love people no matter what, even when he’s not feeling them (me included) lol!! His heart is huge and his desire to improve every aspect of his life is even larger. The past 30 days came with arguments, disagreements and significantly differing opinions on a couple matters in our lives….that never stopped him from being who and what I need even when he felt the urge to hold a grudge (cause he does that at times, lol! But we all do!). I never have to worry about being overlooked or an afterthought. He puts me first (after God of course) and I’m safe, even when we disagree….I’m safe. #HappilyEverMcLin#JourneytoForever #82016 #CelebrateEverything#EachDayisaMilestone#DispelTheMyth#FirstYearStories😘😘❤❤😍😍💍💪🏼💑
We’re still learning lots about ourselves and each other. Listen, idk how some of y’all lived with your gf/bf for years…this is rough! LOL! I am not at all used to sharing space and hubby is quite the opposite. I did not have the traditional college experience so I never lived in a dorm/campus apartment with other people. He did. I had one roommate at 18 and we almost lost our friendship. Hubby lived with his boys for years. I had ONE live in boyfriend when I was 19…that lasted until I was 20 (and no, it wasn’t a full year)! When my husband falls asleep it pretty much takes an explosion to wake him. When I fall asleep, he can breathe hard and I’ll wake! Lol! Needless to say, we are still adjusting! Sometimes it,s cool, other times not so much. And before anyone tries to psycho-analyze this post, don’t! Lol! I share. Good and bad. Right and wrong. I’m also a realist and my husband is fully aware (it’s ONE of the reasons he loves me, lol)! This is not a vent or rant. I’m sharing our first year of marriage journey. The experiences aren’t all smiles, contrary to popular belief. We aren’t always kissing, hugging, sexing or any other touchy-feely thing you see or read. We are living real life and it comes with highs and lows. Some of these updates will be super cute. Others will talk about struggles. Either way, it’s real, it’s us. So, until the next time…. #HappilyEverMcLin#JourneytoForever#FirstYearStories#DispelTheMyth#love#marriage#life
While getting dressed this morning, I found myself in deep thought over an old situation. I mulled over the things I could have said to the people who could have asked but didn’t. I thought about ways to vindicate myself and prove I wasn’t insignificant at that time. Then I felt so many emotions, they rushed in and basically took over. Of course I couldn’t allow myself to cry, that wouldn’t make any sense as I’m not mad and I’m past that…..So I thought.
I ran to my laptop to pen my thoughts because I didn’t want to forget the illumination I received during my morning routine, lol! The truth is I’m not mad at them but I’m still mad at me! That realization almost made me cry. Forgiveness is a touchy subject. There are as many opinions about the matter as there are people. I dare not venture down that path, I’d be writing for days, lol! I will say…most of us are carrying grudges. And some of those grudges are against ourselves. We are dissatisfied with our responses. We are upset we allowed mistreatment. We are grieving the fact that we did not stand up for ourselves. We have hard feelings, with ourselves.
Well, today I have a decision to make. Forgive myself and move on….or continue antagonizing myself over the past. Seems like an easy decision, right? Sometimes it isn’t that simple. Especially when you have no idea you are in fact mad and with yourself. As I walk through this process I hope I can encourage you to do the same. If you are thinking, dreaming or still feeling anything about a past event chances are you are mad…and maybe at yourself. Let it go. Today. Now.